So yes, I am here in the Center, staying up late and doing what I can do. I just finished two counselling sessions (with Joy and FM) where I learned a lot. I learned how hard it is to struggle in sex/relationship addiction and that one person is compulsive to act on it. I don't know but I admit that for sometime in my life I myself, abused one important thing (confidential) which I am ashamed to open. Nonetheless, I admire Joy for being brave enough in handling her struggles/issues/difficulties especially when it comes to relationship and sex addiction. She admitted that she is having a relationship with Arvin which is expected from her since she has relationship/sex addiction. She further admitted that they are "on" while they are in the center. However, she also mentioned that she feels guilty everytime she sees his family, his mother, wife and children. And true enough, that is really something to be guilty about.
I don't know what will happen to her, but what strucked me the most was when she asked me, "Ma'am, may pag-asa pa po kaya ako? kahit ganito po ang naranasan ko?" that question gave so many implications to me such as 1. She don't believe there's hope which might lead her to have suicidal attempt again, 2. She don't believe in God as the source of her strength 3. She has very poor self-concept, 4. She has low self-esteem.
Honestly, I pity her, but there's nothing I can do but to encourage her and to keep on reminding her that there's hope despite how difficult her situation now. In the end I am glad that she is happy to be in the center and that she believes there's hope everyday that she wakes up. Before we depart, I cannot help but to pray for her and ask God to give her the strength she needs to overcome her trials in life. May God be with her!
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