Just one of the days in the Center

So yes, I am here in the Center, staying up late and doing what I can do. I just finished two counselling sessions (with Joy and  FM) where I learned a lot.  I learned how hard it is to struggle in sex/relationship addiction and that one person is compulsive to act on it.  I don't know but I admit that for sometime in my life I myself, abused one important thing (confidential) which I am ashamed to open.  Nonetheless, I admire Joy for being brave enough in handling her struggles/issues/difficulties especially when it comes to relationship and sex addiction.  She admitted that she is having a relationship with Arvin which is expected from her since she has relationship/sex addiction.  She further admitted that they are "on" while they are in the center.  However, she also mentioned that she feels guilty everytime she sees his family, his mother, wife and children.  And true enough, that is really something to be guilty about.

I don't know what will happen to her, but what strucked me the most was when she asked me, "Ma'am, may pag-asa pa po kaya ako? kahit ganito po ang naranasan ko?" that question gave so many implications to  me such as 1.  She don't believe there's hope which might lead her to have suicidal attempt again, 2. She don't believe in God as the source of her strength 3.  She has very poor self-concept, 4. She has low self-esteem.

Honestly, I pity her, but there's nothing I can do but to encourage her and to keep on reminding her that there's hope despite how difficult her situation now.  In the end I am glad that she is happy to be in the center and that she believes there's hope everyday that she wakes up.  Before we depart, I cannot help but to pray for her and ask God to give her the strength she needs to overcome her trials in life.  May God be with her!

Review of the For the First Time Movie

So yes, the movie started very good.  I like how KC started her being conservative and demure girl on the first part.  I like the part where they were in Greece, how she and Richard met.  But what I didn’t like was when she expressed her feelings to Richard infront of his parents and take note, neglecting her father where in fact, introducing her father must be the first one.  Also, I didn’t like how she did it because it was infront of Richard’s parents, nieces and nephews, and it was I think “off” I should say for a Philippine movie, “culture wise.”  That’s the only part I didn’t like about how the story goes which is in the ending.haha.It must be the guy who have done it instead of her which I think the problem of Richard since he has self-esteem issue.haha.But the rest, I like how it went.  She was able to portray how she was affected and stressed out from being the CEO’s daughter, full of expectations.  That was really true, she was overwhelmed, to think that her dad has very high expectations of her.  And, her dad was disappointed and still affected by her past relationship six years ago.

Now, with regards to Philip’s role, I just didn’t like his porma, the suite which was not perfectly fit to him.  In short, hindi sakanya bagay magsuot ng suite and tie.haha. It looks “maluwang” and he appears not to be comfortable with his role.  He was so rigid and appeared stiff.haha.

Oh, about Richard’s role, I guess it was a sort of Karma because of his being so Playboy.  May nahanap siyang katapat niya.  I also like his sweetness to KC though I didn’t like when he left KC inside the car, crying being fed up from her family problems, preoccupied from her father’s expectations and basically, stressed out.  And to think that he bravely told KC na iiwan mo na ako dito, that was like a manifestations of having  a low self-esteem which I think was one of his issues.  He added, you’re a perfect girl but I am not the perfect one for you.  I am a wrong guy.  There, he boldly told her which was very painful in the part of 

KC.   I didn’t like that part.  He should have comforted KC which she needs him the most and just probably stood by her and not leave her in the middle of her problem.  But good thing, KC was that strong enough to face her dad which turned out to be good.

Anyway, all in all, I am glad to watched the movie.  I like the views and the scenic spot in Greece.  That was really amazing, the island, the houses, the city, the people, the food, the dances, and the part where the island is overlooking from a veranda on top of the house. Thumbs-up to that. Plus, there are so many foreigner “extras” good in speaking English. Haha. Oh, one more thing, Richard appears confident speaking greek. Like J

Review of Huwag Ka Lang Mawawala (HKM)

Yes, I admit that I am watching HKM.  Haha. You might wonder what hooked me but I guess, the psychology of the movie.  I noticed so many psychological issues from the role and that it was clearly portrayed how their issues have affected their individual life.  Let’s begin with Romulos.

Romulos.  He have deep-seated issues about gender identity which he kept all along.  Lucky for him that he met Helena who accepted him for who he was but his denial broke his life, his family apart.  Instead of being true to oneself, he preferred not to admit to his children where he ended up as super strict, inconsiderate, rigid, cold and distant father.  He thinks by over-ruling the lives of his children, he is doing them a favor.  He killed Eva, tried killing Aniza, and killing other innocent lives that he thinks were hindrances to their family’s happiness.  Big NO!  He was very controlling to his children since first and foremost, he cannot control himself.  That is the main problem.  Thus, he was projecting his control to his children which was manifested through physical, verbal and emotional abuse.  As a consequence, he molded Eros to be that “neurotic” unmanageable son.

Eros.  A very abusive, impulsive and self-centered husband.  He was very violent to Aniza, he inflicted pain to Aniza physically, emotionally and sexually.  He was beaten, shouted, and forced to have sex to him.  That was how cruel he was.  But to think, his behavior was greatly affected by his dad’s upbringing.  Thus, he really does not know how to be a good husband to his wife. Yes, he tried to be a good father to his children, took care of them, prepared them food and snacks, but in the end, he has also strong tendency to abuse his children.  Probably by being very controlling and strict father to them.  Unfortunately, he ended up in the mental hospital which was unexpected in a Philippine movie.  However, considering his background, he will most likely end up in mental hospital.  That was the part I like.  The movie was able to portray how one’s behavior affect oneself and other’s future life.  In this movie, it was shown how Romulos was affected by his father’s controlling behavior, how he projected them to Eros and how Eros passed them to Aniza and Elexis.  The abuse was a vicious cycle which was stopped bravely by Aniza.

Aniza.  A very loving, brave, and caring person.  At first, I didn’t like how she appeared “tanga” to be enticed by Eros’ sweetness.  But later in the movie, she was strong enough to fight her role as a mother of JR and face her fears.  Romulos attempted to kill her but she survived and became brave enough to return and get JR back.  She made it and I must say that she made it dramatically.  I like how she prepared by getting self-defense training, getting college degree and became professional so she can formally fought back the Diomedes Family.  She did it.  Thumbs up to you.  I like the last episode where she told Romulos inside the prison cell that she forgive him inspite his cruelty to her.  That was awesome!  Unbelievable and appeared to be unrealistic in the real life, but the movie portrayed how to be good to those who have hurted you.  Because, only by letting go of the pain, hurts, anger and hatred to the transgressor will bring you real freedom.  Letting them go is setting yourself free.

Until here for now.  I like the story all in all, and I thank the writer of the movie.  To the writer, Good Job!

Reflection:

I enjoy watching and making some reviews of the movie.  Thumbs up to the actors, writers, producers, and directors of the movie.  But several questions keeps popping in my head, am I doing the right role that God gave me as His child? As His Christian daughter, worker?  Am I doing my role correctly or I disappoint God from not doing the role He gave me?